Classified Ads

(allegedly) taken from classified ads in newspapers across the US:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.

FREE PUPPIES
½ COCKER SPANIEL
½ SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG

FREE PUPPIES
PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN.
FREE.

FOUND:
DIRTY WHITE DOG
LOOKS LIKE A RAT, BEEN OUT AWHILE
BETTER BE REWARD.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB
$850/offer

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL XXX-XXX,
ASK FOR CHUBBY

HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
“IF IT’S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!”

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb

NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
SLIGHTLY STAINED

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY
MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300

ALZHEIMER’S CENTER PREPARES
FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed.
Got married last weekend. Wife knows Everything.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 30th, 2003 at 7:25 and is filed under Nonsense. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.