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Gender differences

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car’s hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.”
Male: What you slap when someone’s scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 & 1/2 minutes

4 Responses to “Gender differences”

  1. richard
    October 31st, 2003 17:42
    1

    No real man would wear a helmet while playing football. Not even while playing Rugby football.

  2. Neil T.
    November 1st, 2003 20:17
    2

    It’s a well-known fact among men that the more big remote controls you own, the larger your penis is. That’s why men are so posessive of them.

    (says Neil who’s been trying to get a remote control for his computer)

  3. Tom Pool
    November 19th, 2003 01:54
    3

    this is all false, you are only tying the gender knot in our society

  4. Daisy
    November 19th, 2003 10:24
    4

    Hi Tom, I’m sorry if these offend you but they are meant very much tongue in cheek.

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