Ayres on the air


I can’t believe I forgot to post this – comic poet Pam Ayres is back on the radio.

You can listen to last week’s here (click on Ayres on the Air) and the second part is at 11:30 BST here in the UK, it should then be available on that same Listen Again page from just after midday.

There’s an example of her poetry in the extended post. Enjoy.

I Wish I’d Looked After Me Teeth

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth,
And spotted the perils beneath,
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth.
When I had more tooth there than fillin’
To pass up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers
And to buy something else with me shillin’.

When I think of the lollies I licked,
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked.

My Mother, she told me no end,
“If you got a tooth, you got a friend”
I was young then, and careless,
My toothbrush was hairless,
I never had much time to spend.

Oh I showed them the toothpaste all right,
I flashed it about late at night,
But up-and-down brushin’
And pokin’ and fussin’
Didn’t seem worth the time… I could bite!

If I’d known I was paving the way,
To cavities, caps and decay,
The murder of fillin’s
Injections and drillin’s
I’d have thrown all me sherbet away.

So I lay in the old dentist’s chair,
And I gaze up his nose in despair,
And his drill it do whine,
In these molars of mine,
“Two amalgum,” he’ll say, “for in there.”

How I laughed at my Mother’s false teeth,
As they foamed in the waters beneath,
But now comes the reckonin’
It’s me they are beckonin’
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth.

More of her poetry here.

6 Responses to “Ayres on the air”

  1. razorhead
    July 12th, 2004 17:52

    I saw Pam live in Salisbury. She was brill iawn.

  2. Gabby
    July 12th, 2004 18:20

    Hi my blogging friend, it has been a while, and much has change I am finding. Half of my bloggrolled links either don’t work or have new urls…ahh well, will fix it up.

    Anyway, was doing the rounds and saying hello, and of course…had to stop in here :)

  3. Daisy
    July 12th, 2004 18:39

    Welcome back Gabby, it’s lovely to see you again.

  4. Daisy
    July 12th, 2004 18:42

    Razor, was she the same “in person” as she is on tv/radio?

  5. cherokee
    July 13th, 2004 15:32

    First time I’ve heard her. Hilarious!

  6. razorhead
    July 14th, 2004 14:21

    Yep she is the One Pam. She tours, she rocks.

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