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Essential new words for 2004

TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, cr*ps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see that’s going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a “home business”.

STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the cr*p out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the “adminisphere” are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded administrivia” needless paperwork and processes.

404
Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you’ve just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you’ve hit ‘reply all’).

WOOFies
Well Off Older Folk.

CROP DUSTING
Surreptitiously f*rting while passing through a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.

[Thanks to non blogging (but there’s hope!) younger brother Ian]

6 Responses to “Essential new words for 2004”

  1. Huwge
    July 15th, 2004 22:28
    1

    Now I now what I can tell B that I am doing the next 2 weeks – I will be a testiculating seagull attempting to become a woof without blamestorming. Am sure she will understand that description better than the one given to date.

  2. Karan
    July 16th, 2004 00:38
    2

    I always enjoy these little grow your vocabulary exercises! Thank you for sharing!!

  3. Fi
    July 16th, 2004 02:52
    3

    Heheh, I love them. I am so a Mouse Potato!

  4. Kirsi
    July 16th, 2004 05:00
    4

    Hehe, these are great! I especially like the term “seagull manager”. :)

  5. annipink
    July 16th, 2004 11:01
    5

    Well, The Arsehole is obviously into Assmosis, and currently in the process of Blamestorming (the manager who left getting most of the blame because he can’t defend himself).

    I am definitely a Mouse Potato.

  6. Vickie
    July 16th, 2004 14:01
    6

    Ha! I love the new essential words. They are so fitting!

    Great site!

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