A young man’s tale
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way. My friends encouraged me. And my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.”
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her p@nties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”
The moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
[via]
December 17th, 2004 19:39
Update: Apparently this joke is as old as Methusela. So that’s why I’ve not heard it before then…
December 17th, 2004 20:22
Ha.
It may be an oldie, but it’s always worth re-telling.
(Did they have cars in Methuseh’s day? “Always keep your condoms on your horse’s saddlebags” doesn’t quite ring true)
December 17th, 2004 20:53
Good one. Hope you don’t mind, I’ll copy and send on to a couple of old guys to remind them of what could have been. Ha! Wicked as well.
December 17th, 2004 20:57
Em, I started to wonder what condoms were made of in the days of saddlebags but maybe we don’t want to go there…
Mary, please copy away, that’s how this joke came to me!
December 17th, 2004 23:43
I believe that they were made of a piece of knotted sheep gut. Not that I’ve made a study of these things.
December 18th, 2004 12:03
off topic daisy i know but have you seen Enduring Love?
i saw it last night (rare babysitting occasion).
yer man Rhys Ifans is superb by the way. why isn’t he scottish?
December 18th, 2004 12:09
teehee VERY good!
December 18th, 2004 15:13
Knotted sheep gut? Hmm. A bit like pop socks (knee high pantyhose) - passion killers. Briggy, I saw Rhys Ifans on Jonathan Ross the other night - blimey, he scrubs up well doesn’t he? Very fanciable. And from the clips shown, I’m really looking forward to seeing Enduring Love when we get round to renewing our Blockbusters card (last one was stolen along with Martyn’s wallet).
December 18th, 2004 18:09
Whoever once had that happen for real, if anyone, should have kicked his future father-in-law’s ass and broken off the engagement.
December 18th, 2004 19:40
Apropos sheep gut (that gives a hole(sic!) new meaning to the phrase “bugger ewe!”) :
FYI : The correct english verb for what the ram does to the ewe, is “tup”.
Now explain to us whence the british habit of having “Tupperware” parties?
Stu
December 19th, 2004 14:16
I’ll never be able to buy Tupperware again without laughing.
December 20th, 2004 04:05
hahhaaaa… old but just as funny.
December 20th, 2004 11:35
Do we have an accurate date for the age of Methusela?
If so I’d offer that this joke is probably even older than that.
December 21st, 2004 00:37
off topic - - I really like your new look :)
December 21st, 2004 01:25
Oldie but a goodie!! Always brings a smile to my face ;)
December 21st, 2004 12:40
“Whoever once had that happen for real, if anyone, should have kicked his future father-in-law’s ass and broken off the engagement.”
So one should make sure, before marrying someone, that they approve of each and every member of their prospective spouse’s family, and all their behaviours? If that were the case, hardly anyone would ever get married, and there wouldn’t be all those sitcoms based on in-law problems. haha. Most people don’t even approve of all of their own family. haha.
December 22nd, 2004 11:10
I thought it was a story about me for a minute there.