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Archive for April, 2005

Enid

Thursday, April 28th, 2005

Burglar With Conscience Returns Items

ENID, Okla. (AP) – There may be a burglar with a conscience. A television, stereo, and VCR were stolen over the weekend from a house in the small town of Kremlin.

Undersheriff Jerry Niles said the woman who lives at the house called deputies Monday night to say that someone broke into her house again while she was away, returned the electronics gear, even restoring the wiring and repairing a door jamb damaged in the original break-in.

“It was spooky,” Niles said.

He said it was the first time he has ever seen all of the property taken in a burglary returned like that. Deputies are still investigating the case.

[via non blogging Matt] [who now tells me it was via Fark so most of you will’ve read it already. ‘pologies]

Ethel

Thursday, April 28th, 2005

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of the men actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched.

“STOP!” He shouted in a firm voice. “Have you got a license for that thing?” Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. “OK” he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted “STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?” Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said “Carry on, ma’am.”
(more…)

Been doin’ it wrong all these years

Thursday, April 28th, 2005

How to weigh yourself and get the most accurate result.

I can’t believe I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.

We must get the word out.

The natural conclusion

Tuesday, April 26th, 2005

The natural conclusion to the last two posts is to ask you to write your own personal ad.

If you’re snuggled in divine coupledom, think back to those carefree swingle days and let your imagination run riot.

If you’re currently single, well, what are you waiting for!

You say tomato

Monday, April 25th, 2005

Thanks to Zeno for pointing us in the direction of the New York Review of Books classifieds. The listings are very different but equally charming:

ARE YOU the brisk-walking, 60–65-year-old-looking man, who might have been watching me dodge traffic in NYC recently, and with whom I might have made eye contact? You wore a philosophical smile, and carried no cautionary umbrella, optimist that you are. Perhaps you carried a book under your arm. I am of similar age and temperament. We should meet for real. NYR Box —.

BAKES A GREAT CAKE. Wild woman with glorious garden ISO hoochie-coochie gentleman ready to put down a root or two. Shade or sun?

PRETTY, PROFESSIONAL DWF, warm, smart, happy, trim. Seeks honest, accomplished D/WWM, approx. 55–67, for friendship, possible LTR. NYR Box —.

I’m trying to work out what DWF stands. For a few seconds I thought it was dwarf but that’s not likely… is it?

“In the spring…

Monday, April 25th, 2005

… a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love”
Lord Alfred Tennyson

Cue the London Review of Books (LRB) personals:

Massive-breasted heiress, abortion 38, nurse seeks witty Nobel-awarded intellectual beef-cake gardener-chef-poet with stonking pecs. Like me, side effects you are dynamic, hilarious, serious, ironic, passionate, practical, affectionate, kind, funny, have most of your own legs, and are startled to find yourself still cruising the aisles of the Lurve Bazaar. Unlike me, you don’t exist. Am I right? If so, will consider any M who can make conversation, sense, a living, friends, four cooked meals, hot love and me laugh. Box no. 07/01

Woman, 43, would like to meet a man – any man – whose evolutionary path isn’t that of Homer Simpson. Suspecting that’s too difficult, I may go lesbian. Box no. 08/10

I like you because you read magazines with big words. And you’ve got great booblies. I can live without the first. But the second is non-negotiable. Shallow man, 34. When I say ‘shallow’, I mean, damn. Box no. 08/08

About to go to bed

Sunday, April 24th, 2005

…yes I know, it’s a long time since I retired before midnight but had to point you in the direction of this post from Mary. You might have seen the advert before but Mary’s intro is genius.

Also in the radar, the new Aardvark extension for Firefox. Even if you have Chris Pederick’s Web Developer installed, you might like to add this on because (at first glance, I’ll have a proper look this week) it looks as if you can point to the source code behind a specified section rather than searching for it in what is sometimes an offputtingly long chunk of code. At least to us noobies.

I also installed ColorZilla last week, haven’t had a chance to use it properly but basically it’s an eyedropper tool that sits in the bottom of your browser window ready to tell you – hang on, they say it better:

With ColorZilla you can get a color reading from any point in your browser, quickly adjust this color and paste it into another program. You can Zoom the page you are viewing and measure distances between any two points on the page. The built-in palette browser allows choosing colors from pre-defined color sets and saving the most used colors in custom palettes.

Glasgow folks and visitors fond of a good fryup might want to bookmark this post on Cafe D’Jaconelli while those interested in photography will want to bookmark this new blog, A moment’s notice: streetphotography and beyond. Not too many photos there yet (just started this month) but I do like this picture of a junkyard.

Okey dokey, I’m taking these tired, car-bootified bones off to bed. G’night.

Booty!

Sunday, April 24th, 2005

In the ongoing quest to declutter the house we gathered up boxes of books, videos, china and bric-a-brac early this morning and set off to do our first ever car boot sale.

And it was a bit of an eye opener for both of us. Martyn stood there astonished, confessing that he was seeing a side of me he’d not seen before as I cajoled, bartered and bargained with people over prices. He summed it up with “You have a knack for striking up a conversation with people I’d cross the street to avoid”. The years of holding stalls at church bazaars as a child finally came in useful. I would get very hot under the collar to see people try and bargain for homemade cakes though. My mother‘s world famous* homemade cakes at that! She would spend an awful lot of money on ingredients then bake from dusk to dawn for a week each November. To stand there and see people try and bargain the price down from 30p to 20p for a slice of fruit cake would have me bouncing off the floor in anger.

We’d barely opened the car doors before the crowds swooped, prodding and inspecting the contents of our boxes. We had three paste tables and nice cloths to cover them – hah! It took us an hour to get everything on the table because we had to keep stopping to sell things. Which I suppose is living up to the name “car boot” sale since we were literally selling from the boot of the car.

But two hours in and I learned to smile with eyes that said “Feck off if you think you’re going to steal from me” and to recognise the children sent by their parents to weadle a better price for items by lisping “It’s for my mummy’s birthday…”. As far as I can tell we had two or three items stolen. The first was a brand new S0ny Walkman (they left the box the bastards) and I think a couple of books disappeared too.

So will we do it again? Absolutely! Despite a bad back, neck and feet (standing for 5 hours will do that to you) it reallly was huge amounts of fun. We met some lovely people, the sun was shining and we’ve recouped a bit of money for all stuff that we should have gotten rid of years ago.

But now I’m going to hobble off to a nice hot bath.

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* world famous might be a tad exagerrated but she is certainly known as a very good cook, particularly her pastry. And not to leave dad out in case he ever reads this, his pasta dishes are divine too.

In lieu of Cat Friday

Saturday, April 23rd, 2005

some funny videos involving our feline friends.

Ch ch changes

Saturday, April 23rd, 2005

I’ve thrown off the shackles of 1&1 hosting, transferred to a new host* and signed up with godaddy for domain registration**.

This means that I’ll no longer get emails addressed to Mr Daisy and -more worryingly- be addressed as Mr Daisy when I phone their “support” desk. I don’t have a deep, sexy voice (alas!) and *looks down* have a fine pair of bosoms so I don’t know why they have for three long years ignored all pleas to update their database.

Anyway, this blog is still hosted with TypePad and will continue to be until December this year but the grand plan is to create a Movable Type and/or WordPress blog on that hosting, see which I prefer and then have chasingdaisy.com as the main url. Or maybe .net.

But I’ll soon (this weekend hopefully) be attempting a domain mapping exercise that’ll mean typing in the .com url (or the .net) will lead you straight to this blog.

There’s an excellent how-to by donnum on the typepad users forum but I have my suspicions that there will be hitches so if I disappear suddenly this weekend, you’ll know why. And *best Arnie impersonation* “I’ll be back”.

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* In beta at the moment but I’ll post details when they’re open to the public because the prices and support are excellent.

** Because they’re one of the TypePad recommended registrars for domain mapping.

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