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“In the spring…

… a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love”
Lord Alfred Tennyson

Cue the London Review of Books (LRB) personals:

Massive-breasted heiress, abortion 38, nurse seeks witty Nobel-awarded intellectual beef-cake gardener-chef-poet with stonking pecs. Like me, side effects you are dynamic, hilarious, serious, ironic, passionate, practical, affectionate, kind, funny, have most of your own legs, and are startled to find yourself still cruising the aisles of the Lurve Bazaar. Unlike me, you don’t exist. Am I right? If so, will consider any M who can make conversation, sense, a living, friends, four cooked meals, hot love and me laugh. Box no. 07/01

Woman, 43, would like to meet a man – any man – whose evolutionary path isn’t that of Homer Simpson. Suspecting that’s too difficult, I may go lesbian. Box no. 08/10

I like you because you read magazines with big words. And you’ve got great booblies. I can live without the first. But the second is non-negotiable. Shallow man, 34. When I say ‘shallow’, I mean, damn. Box no. 08/08

8 Responses to ““In the spring…”

  1. brig
    April 25th, 2005 20:08
    1

    oo.

    u got a number for number one?

    … or two for that matter?

  2. zeno
    April 25th, 2005 20:15
    2

    I love the LRB personals… the NYRB is good too!

  3. Karan
    April 25th, 2005 20:26
    3

    HAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA

  4. Em
    April 25th, 2005 21:10
    4

    Fat man, 41, stalks (oops) seeks … um … er … his marbles, perhaps?

  5. Allan
    April 25th, 2005 22:02
    5

    OMG. I laughed so hard it hurt.

    I don’t think that is supposed to happen, is it?

  6. Alison
    April 25th, 2005 22:05
    6

    …will consider any M who can make conversation, sense, a living, friends, four cooked meals, hot love and me laugh

    Sounds like my kind of woman! I mean,uh, man. Yeah, that’s it.

  7. mary
    April 25th, 2005 23:18
    7

    What a hoot and a holler!

  8. Nagl
    April 26th, 2005 09:58
    8

    Some of these shine with GENIUS. Beats datingdirect, that’s for sure…

    Now where’s the Glasgow Review of Books?

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