“In the spring…

… a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love”
– Lord Alfred Tennyson

Cue the London Review of Books (LRB) personals:

Massive-breasted heiress, 38, seeks witty Nobel-awarded intellectual beef-cake gardener-chef-poet with stonking pecs. Like me, you are dynamic, hilarious, serious, ironic, passionate, practical, affectionate, kind, funny, have most of your own legs, and are startled to find yourself still cruising the aisles of the Lurve Bazaar. Unlike me, you don’t exist. Am I right? If so, will consider any M who can make conversation, sense, a living, friends, four cooked meals, hot love and me laugh. Box no. 07/01

Woman, 43, would like to meet a man – any man – whose evolutionary path isn’t that of Homer Simpson. Suspecting that’s too difficult, I may go lesbian. Box no. 08/10

I like you because you read magazines with big words. And you’ve got great booblies. I can live without the first. But the second is non-negotiable. Shallow man, 34. When I say ‘shallow’, I mean, damn. Box no. 08/08

This entry was posted on Monday, April 25th, 2005 at 7:56 and is filed under Luuurve. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

8 Responses to ““In the spring…”

brig
April 25th, 2005 20:08
1

oo.

u got a number for number one?

… or two for that matter?
zeno
April 25th, 2005 20:15
2

I love the LRB personals… the NYRB is good too!
Karan
April 25th, 2005 20:26
3

HAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHA
Em
April 25th, 2005 21:10
4

Fat man, 41, stalks (oops) seeks … um … er … his marbles, perhaps?
Allan
April 25th, 2005 22:02
5

OMG. I laughed so hard it hurt.

I don’t think that is supposed to happen, is it?
Alison
April 25th, 2005 22:05
6

…will consider any M who can make conversation, sense, a living, friends, four cooked meals, hot love and me laugh

Sounds like my kind of woman! I mean,uh, man. Yeah, that’s it.
mary
April 25th, 2005 23:18
7

What a hoot and a holler!
Nagl
April 26th, 2005 09:58
8

Some of these shine with GENIUS. Beats datingdirect, that’s for sure…

Now where’s the Glasgow Review of Books?