home

Archive for April, 2005

Silly jokes for a Friday afternoon

Friday, April 22nd, 2005

A chap starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who’s boss he beats it to death with a spade.

Realising his employer won’t be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both, what can he do?

Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He gets to his last task which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.

As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees, he grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp.

By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion’s cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo, he wanders up to another lion and says “What’s the food like here?” The other lions say…

Wait for it…
(more…)

Giddy up

Friday, April 22nd, 2005

I keep wandering off to read all your stuff and forgetting to post. So a quick splurge of a few things hovering in the “to be posted” file and I’m off to try and get some sleep.

A video to make you smile capa anti roubo. There are more on the main page but am too tired to explore. Let me know if you find any gems.

The things I do for fish – the adventures of two penguins in Seattle.

The secret to being totally famous.

Clever photography, author unkown.

Filed under uncategorisable: Red Meat. Laugh out loud comics from Max Cannon. Teethmarks in your upholstery is my current favourite.

And finally:
Ipod giveaway #1 – Best Interpretation of iPod Shuffle as Food. “All” you have to do is create an edible Ipod. The deadline is midnight April 30th so get those creative juices flowing.

Finally, finally
Google juice for Craig Murray – read the Bloggerheads post.

If you’re voting in Blackburn you especially need to go read about Craig Murray. He’s fighting Jack Straw on an anti-torture, pro-human rights platform.

Just for fun

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005

The big red button and ColorSpeak [via jenett]. Can you identify which hue goes with the tag “this is the color of your urine after you take too many vitamins”?

Gently does it

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005

Isn’t it funny how awkward it is to get back in the swing of blogging after a break? I’ve been sitting here with oodles of links to share but unable to string a sentence together. Best thing is to just dive right in so here goes.

Andrea continues to post a lovely mix of geekery and literary (geeklit?) such as this poem by Yehuda Amichai, translated from the Hebrew by Chana Bloch.

Anan and her fellow authors are writing up a storm over at ode.a-blog while Jo has picked up Blackbird’s meme “show and tell” and posted pictures of bookcases throughout the house. Don’t you just love seeing photos of books like this? Which reminds me of this useful little tool, the single sheet cutter.

Jo has also introduced me to the music of Amos Lee so I’m busy shuffling things in and out of my Amazon shopping basket in order to include it while I spend the remainder of my birthday vouchers.

I’m half tempted to ask for a refund – once again they appear to have lost a shipment. I ordered a book on 6 April that was despatchable “in 24 hours”. I chose super saver to save on postage so it should have been here by the 11th at the latest. I finally got round to ringing them today (well, yesterday, the 18th) only to be told that “if it doesn’t arrive by Wednesday give us a ring back and we’ll chase it.” Excuse me? I used to love getting Amazon vouchers but lately their prices have been going up (each time I check my shopping basket I get notification that at least one of the stored items have shot up in price) and customer service has gone downhill. It’s not the love-fest it used to be.

By the way, if you need the closely guarded secret that is the Amazon customer services number for the UK it’s 0800 279 6620 (open from 08:00 to 18:00).

And besides, who needs books when you have hugely funny posts like this from Mary? Or rebelling against the hokey-pokey from Celia? Or any of Mark’s wierdly wonderful offerings? Then of course there’s Harriet’s deeply satisfying snippets of London life and Briggy’s wonderful writing (and a yummy redesign!).

You want more? How about Drew, readjusting to the move from New Zealand back to London?

You know, ‘twould be quicker if I just pointed you in the direction of the sidebar. Have fun.

Inspirational

Friday, April 15th, 2005

I’ve posted this before I know but I came across the lovely Wing again today and just had to share. She’s updated the site, made lots more downloads available – what more could a girl ask for?

Ladies and gentlemen: Wing.

Six degrees of separation

Wednesday, April 13th, 2005

We’ve just discovered that my mother went to the same grammar school where Em‘s grandfather taught woodwork. Isn’t that amazing? I just rang her to check the facts:

Me: Did you know a Mr B___ at C____ school?
Mam: Oh yes, lovely man. One of nature’s true gentlemen. Um, why do you want to know?

Apparently they had a geography teacher who would put a large map of the world in front of the blackboard at the start of each lesson, instruct the class to start copying it while he sat there and shook. Mr B___ would come in and lead him gently to the staff room, popping his head round the door of the classroom every so often to check that order was being kept. Can’t imagine that happening nowadays.

Anyway, has anyone else discovered an offline link to another blogger?

Update: Chaotique‘s mother also attended that school. Jaw. Desk. Connection.

Addendum: If WebDiva ever blogs again I’ll be asking her if she too attended. Big net, small world eh?

p.s. to the addendum: this is almost the view I woke up to every morning growing up.

What Gia said ♥

Tuesday, April 12th, 2005

Gia said it best.

Thank you

I’m too sexy for my mouse

Tuesday, April 12th, 2005

I was googling for information on singer Tasmin Archer the other day in a “wonder what she’s doing now” kind of way (looks like she might be releasing a new album soon) but when I clicked on the second result, I got this:

Through traffic monitoring of our websites we have identified your IP address accessing allmusic.com at a rate and speed inconsistent with the noncommercial and personal use permitted by our site’s Terms of Service. As a result, further access to allmusic.com has been denied. … Thank you.

There’ll be steam next.

Um

Sunday, April 10th, 2005

Shock_1

No, I don’t quite know what happened either.
(more…)

Spotlight on...

Delicious links

These links are updated frequently thoroughout the day. Should you miss any they're all stored on my Delicious pages.

What I'm listening to