One Lone Star

When Time magazine published its list of 100 Best Books in the English language ( from 1993 to the present day), who would have thought to scour Amazon reviews looking for alternative reactions from the great unwashed public? Matthew Baldwin (of Defective Yeti fame) did just that over at The Morning News in an article called Lone Star Statements. Simple but brilliant.

It’s hard to pick a favourite but here are two that had me laughing out loud.

On The Lord of the Rings (1954) by J.R.R. Tolkien:

“The book is not readable because of the overuse of adverbs.”

On The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (1950) by C.S. Lewis:

“I bought these books to have something nice to read to my grandkids. I had to stop, however, because the books are nothing more than advertisements for “Turkish Delight,” a candy popular in the U.K. The whole point of buying books for my grandkids was to give them a break from advertising, and here (throughout) are ads for this “Turkish Delight”! How much money is this Mr. Lewis getting from the Cadbury’s chocolate company anyway? This man must be laughing to the bank.”

[Thanks to Adrian]

12 Responses to “One Lone Star”

  1. Huwge
    October 24th, 2005 15:46

    Typically poor American research, it was Fry’s and not Cadbury’s Turkish Delight. I loved the Narnia tales and the Turkish Delight adverts weren’t bad either

  2. daisy
    October 24th, 2005 15:54

    Was that the one with the bejewlled dusky maiden (probably from Billingshurt)? As soon as I read that I could see the advert and hum the music. Ah the 70s!

  3. Kimberly
    October 24th, 2005 17:59

    I saw this and thought it was hilarious. Although I have to admit that I agreed with some of them :D

  4. Mary
    October 24th, 2005 18:11

    What we need here is adverbial Turkish Delights. Any ideas? The Turks were utterly, confoundedly delighted to find a witch in their morning coffee.

  5. razorhead
    October 24th, 2005 18:33

    here was I thinking that Turkish delight was a traditional sweet delicacy of a major near-eastern country. Had I known that they had taken stripped the gooey british confection of its chocolate and made the violently purple gunk inside palatable, I would have refused to eat any of it every again.

  6. Huwge
    October 24th, 2005 18:40

    Cleethorpes, I believe ;-)

  7. daisy
    October 24th, 2005 20:15

    Kimberley, I have to admit to agreeing with a few too but I ain’t saying which ones *cough* virginia woolf *cough* ;-)

    Mary, I think adverbs are beyond me at this time of night and with a chicken supper trying to work it’s way through my digestive system but I’ll give it a go tomorrow ;-)

    razor, can you still buy that sickly brit version of turkish delight? I can’t remember seeing it in the shops. Then again, if I need a choco-fix I tend to zoom in on the big bars of Cadburys fruit & nut and nothing but NOTHING will get in my way… :-)

    Huwge, what is it about the name Cleethorpes that makes people smile? I have an urge to edit the post now and substitute Billingshurt for Cleethorpes.

  8. Huwge
    October 25th, 2005 18:48


  9. Kev Spencer
    October 25th, 2005 21:15

    I was never fond of Turkish Delight while growing up in Blighty. Would see it in the shops & advertised on the telly but was rather put off by the actual taste. Which, er, wasn’t that good to be honest.

    I’d totally forgotton how often Turkish Delight was pimped by C.S. Lewis so reading that review made me chuckle.

  10. Fi
    October 26th, 2005 10:48

    Ah, the overuse of adverbs! That’s why it took me so long to read Lord of the Rings.

    What’s this about Turkish Delight and Shoeburyness? Is there a connection? I’m intrigued – I lived in Shoeburyness for six months and exoticness was very hard to come by…

  11. Daisyhead
    October 27th, 2005 01:34

    I really need to re-read the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. Just in case anyone wanted to know. ;-)

  12. felicity
    October 29th, 2005 20:09

    ….daisyhead, i think i need to read it for the first time _blushes with embaressment_…. however can highly recommend “the screwtape letters” by the same author!

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