I had a (silly) dream
I accidentally caught a few minutes of that loathsome woman on The Weakest Link again last week, just in time to see the following exchange:
Robinson: The name of a seaside town on the southern coast of the Bristol channel?
Contestant: Weston-Super-Mare
Now I may have been projecting my own thoughts on that poor contestant but I swear that he looked her straight in the eye and emphasised the word mare.
That same night I had an odd dream. I was in the Weakest Link studio (not participating, just standing there with a pair of red, fluffy headphones – it was a dream, okay?) and cheering loudly as each contestant managed to insult Ms Robinson with their answers.
The trouble is, I can only remember one question:
Robinson: Ram is to ewe as dog is to what?
Contestant: Bitch!
Martyn has just come up with a few off the top of his head (rolling his eyes, muttering “I can’t believe you’re going to blog this”):
Robinson: What is the capital of Russia?
Contestant: Moscow.
Robinson: What is the mechanical device that prevents a spindle turning backwards?
Contestant: Ratshit! [a little artistic licence is needed here]
Robinson: What is the more common name for the Parus major?
Contestant: Great tit!
Robinson: What is the scum formed by oxidation at the surface of molten metals more commonly known as?
Contestant: Slag!
Knowing you lot, there are plenty more to be written so that’s your homework for this week: your best undercover insults please!
December 5th, 2005 09:11
you seemed have grown fond of her that she was included in your dream…^_^ not the usual tho…*wink
December 5th, 2005 11:00
*sharp intake of breath*
FOND?????? of THAT WOMAN????
It’s just that I like to stop for a pot of tea at 6pm in time for a quiz show called Eggheads and Weakest Link is on just before that. I promise, hell would have to freeze over before I’d voluntarily watch that woman :-)
December 5th, 2005 14:14
hm daisy.
you ever considered therapy?
…
alternatively i could have her ‘disposed’ of for you?
December 5th, 2005 14:16
I like her hair cut (pic), but her attitude is definitely sick. So here goes:
R: What is the name of an English man who created the first mobile meal?
C: Ah, that would be the Earl of Sand, witch!
*groan*
December 5th, 2005 18:07
Briggy, I have no doubt that I should be in therapy on a daily basis but so far I’ve avoided it…
Thank you for the offer but I think that one of these days the powers that be at the BBC will realise what a talentless specimen she is and she’ll get the (long black leather with pointy heels) boot.
Mary, thank you – best one so far!
December 5th, 2005 23:15
Q: What is the name for the fourth bone on the top of your foot?
A: YOU MINGING DEVILSPAWN BITCH FROM HELL!!
Like that?
Or have I misunderstood the concept.. again..
December 6th, 2005 00:22
Hahahahahah – if that’s your version of missing the point feel free to pointmiss as much as you like. Hang on, that’s not English. Well, you know what I mean.
December 11th, 2005 07:15
I’m too nice and polite to think up one, Daisy! I’m just happy to read that you England-types loathe her, too. I thought it was just us Yanks.