I’m sure I’ve linked to this in the dim and distant past but here it is again because it’s a hoot: Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay.
A couple to tempt you:
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
Thanks to Baldrick for the title quote.