Put your average person in a television studio, pin a microphone to his chest and – well to be fair, how many of us would be up to the challenge? Not many, judging by these replies.
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi’s first name?
Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
The Weakest Link
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what “J” is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Anne Robinson: Wh…?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and…?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
National Lottery Jet Set
Eamonn Holmes: What’s the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
Chris Serle Show, BBC Bristol
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er… Mexico?
1) Something a blind man might use? – A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? – Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the capital of France? – F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? – Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? – A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? – Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitler’s first name? – Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? – Jock
9) Some famous brothers? – Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? – The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath? – Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? – A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach? – A deckchair
14) A famous Royal? – Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn’t have an engine? – A bicycle with wings
16) A famous bridge? – The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does? – Goes to the toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom? – Decorate
19) A method of securing your home? – Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs? – The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac? – April
22) Something people might be allergic to? – Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? – Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? – A roof
25) Something slippery? – A conman
26) A kind of ache? – A fillet of fish
27) A jacket potato topping? – Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white? – A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? – Bananas
30) Something red? – My sweater
Radio Lincolnshire phone-in
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain.
Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it’s not Sydney.
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show ‘The Sopranos’ is about opera. True or false?
Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it’s about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I’ll give you that.
BBC Radio Newcastle
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
Bob Hope birthday quiz, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
Wood: What “K” could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Wood: It’s got two syllables… Kor…
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run…
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I…
Daryl’s Drivetime, Virgin Radio
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel?
But the best, best, bestest of them all is a wonderful lady from Liverpool faced with this question:
Sir Walter Raleigh is credited with introducing tobacco to this country. What else did he bring?