Oh I know, those infuriating internet tests but this is different, honest.

Go try the Canine Algorithmic Transfer System™ (click on “game” on the left, speakers cranked up) and tell me it’s not great fun:

There’s a dog inside all of us, waiting to be let out. This game is based on a computer called SUKA built in 1975 by Russian scientist Mikhail Volkonsky and now housed in the London Science Museum.

SUKA is powered by CATS (Canine Algorithmic Transfer System™) which is able to determine what kind of dog you are. Simply answer 10 questions, being as honest and accurate as possible and CATS will calculate which breed you resemble the most.

It’s all part of the website for the film Gone to the dogs and Karan – you will love my diagnosis!

[Brazenly stolen from Pam]

Currently listing to: Jason Bradbury’s Tsunami ‘Gadget’ Song. Will Engelbert ever forgive my fickle heart?

One

Here’s a good Blogliners idea:

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Movie quotes in retrospect can be such amusing groaners, so c’mon folks… let’s trot out your favorite cheesy movie lines.

Shall we open this up to include all the lurkers who might be a bit too shy to leave a comment – come and dip a toe in the water, it’s lovely and warm I promise!

Two

A photograph of me has been sitting on this site for days and no-one has spotted it. Shame on you!

How about listing the top ten films you’ve never seen and have no intention of seeing?

1. Star Wars. I know, I’m a freak.
2. James Bond movies. Ditto.
3. LOTR. I’ve tried, really. It’s on often enough in this house but the sofa is so comfortable for taking a quick little nap… I did enjoy the dvd documentary about Andy Serkis playing Gollum though.
4. Ringu. I saw the US remake a while back and it left me a little disturbed so when I read that the JP orignal was on the other week I switched on. Oh dear. Stuff of nightmares.
5. Pirates of the Caribbean. I just don’t get it.
6. Mr Deeds. I’ve seen the reviews.
7. Any Charlie Chaplin movie.
8. The Godfather.
9. 2001: A Space Odyssey. One day someone will find a long lost letter of Stanley Kubrik’s and the words “emperor” and “new clothes” will feature prominently.
10. NEW: Forrest Gump. One of the worst films I’ve ever seen.
11. NEW: About Schmidt.

No longer in the list:

1. The Exorcist. Hmm. This was released in the UK when I was about 12/13 and we were strictly forbidden from seeing it. Ever. Stories ran like wildfire around the school that so and so’s sister’s best friend’s neighbour’s son had seen the film, gone straight to the top of the multi-story car park in Cardiff and thrown himself off. (Don’t underestimate the power of the Catholic taffia in a small Welsh town.) I saw a clip of this at the weekend and wondered if I’d be able to see it now that I’m a woman of more mature years. Allegedly. Update: Martyn has seen it, laughed out loud and confirmed that I should definitely not watch it. Ever.
   Update 2: Dragon has changed my mind, I might watch it one day.

So it’s over to you – a list of films you’ve never seen/never want to see/never likely to see please!

Top 25 lines in Star Wars that can be improved by inserting the word “Pants”:

1. A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
2. You are unwise to lower your pants.
3. We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.
4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.
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There aren’t many films I watch time and time again, mainly because I’ve reached the age at which I can wait until the next time it’s on television, but there are a few I couldn’t part with.

Truly Madly Deeply
Hobson’s Choice
Le Fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain
Romuald et Juliette (I can’t actually find my copy of this but if I could I would watch it again)
Les Ripoux (ditto, except that I know that I taped over my father’s copy of this about 15 years ago)
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
E.T.
Erin Brockovich
The Accidental Tourist
Jean de Florette / Manon des Sources
The Long Kiss Goodnight

Martyn’s choice would include:
Lord of the Rings x 3
The Shawshank Redemption
Zulu (he’s read so much about the battle that he can put up with the inaccuracies and unfairness to the memory of Private Henry Hook)
The Shootist
True Grit
“and most westerns really…” (Zzzzzzz)

Now, there’s space for just three more dvd cases in the cupboard – what would you choose?

I don’t do a lot of film recommendations do I? That might be because I don’t watch a lot of television but I just watched À la folie… pas du tout (He Loves Me He Loves Me Not) with Audrey Tautou. What an excellent film! I won’t say too much in case of spoilers and if you’ve not yet seen it, can I suggest that you don’t click that IMDB link above, a lot of the enjoyment comes from not knowing much about the story. I had put the tv on to check the weather, channel hopped while the kettle was boiling and fell upon it just before it started. Highly recommended. If you live in the UK and have access to Sky movies, it’ll probably be repeated over the coming week.

Postscript 1: The end credits of this film were accompanied by someone (I didn’t catch the name, anyone know?) singing Je voulais te dire que je t’attends. Trivia junkies might like to know that this is the only song in the whole world that I know the lyrics to and can sing from start to finish. ‘Course, you might prefer that I didn’t treat you to my rendition. Just saying I can if needed.

Postscript 2: Tautou has just finished filming Un long dimanche de fiançailles (A very long engagement) from the novel by Sébastien Japrisot. If it’s half as good as the book, it’ll be an outstanding film.

Postscript 3: The book is listed on Amazon UK as “not yet published” which is complete bollix, I have the paperback downstairs but it reminds me of a rant I meant to write a while back. Why on earth do publishers remove all stock of paperbacks before a film is released and then on release of the film you can only buy the version where the cover contains stills from the movie?
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to discover Channel 4′s short film section but now that I have I need to find time to watch them. I started with Sean Ellis’ creepy little film No Left Turn *shudder*.

On impulse, we watched the US film version of Touching Evil tonight. I quite enjoyed the British version with Robson Green and Hermione (Cold Feet) Norris but the US film version (there’s also a tv series, this must have been the pilot, yes, thank you google, it was the pilot) was rather good. I’d not heard of any of the actors except for Zach Grenier (24) but Jeffrey Donovan and Vera Farmiga were excellent. Ah, there’s quite a discussion going on over which version is best. I think it’s a rare occurrence of a US version of a Brit drama being successfully adapted to work stateside. For example, rather than having Creegan working as a criminal psychologist at a university, called in by the police as and when they need him, the US Creegan and the female detective are part of an organisation called the “OSC (Organized and Serial Crime) Unit, a rapid-response, elite crime investigation squad”. But what do I know. Watching this film meant that we missed and forgot to tape the BBC documentary where an undercover journalist joins the ranks of the BNP to expose their criminal activities. Hope it’s repeated on BBC3 or 4 this week.

A couple of points I’ve not seen mentioned in other reviews:

Yes, Moore does rake Bush over the coals, and rightly so. But he also blasts Democrats for not speaking out against the raw injustice of the 2000 election and later, for going along with the national tide of bloodlust that preceded our invasion of Iraq.

Moore also chides the media for the 2000 election debacle and for their complete and utter failure to do their jobs prior to, and during the Iraq war.

From My favorite headache.

From IC Wales:

Meanwhile, it has emerged that an Irish actor is to play Welsh movie legend Richard Burton. Gabriel Byrne will star as the actor in the story of his relationship with Liz Taylor. Former EastEnder Martine McCutcheon is expected to play Taylor.

Which reminds me. My foot doctor once remarked, a propos of nothing at all, that I looked like “Martine McCurtcheon’s older sister”. My gob has never been so smacked.

A short film from Atom Films.