I’ve been sat here in front of the screen, finding it hard to deal with the bitter taste of rejection. Bowled over and grateful to the Stock Xchng community for sharing an unending supply of wonderful photos for banners, designs, cd covers, I suddenly got the idea to contribute a few photos. Not that they’re particularly good but might have been useful to someone writing about baking cakes or puddings. Or eggs.

So last night I logged in and uploaded the high res versions of a bowl of eggs and the ingredients for a cake. An hour later I forced myself to stop hitting refresh and close the window.

Bright and early this morning I logged on again, clicked through the recently added photos looking for my masterpieces photos, only to be disappointed once more. “Maybe they’ve got a backlog” I told myself. “Maybe you ought to get a life” an evil little voice on my should replied.

By this evening dejection had settled in. But it suddenly occurred to me to check the forum, maybe this “huge backlog” was being discussed there.

“It can take from 1-12 hours for pictures to be approved.” Oh woe is me! They’ve rejected my photos! Sobbing quietly I set about making supper, kicking the bin petulantly as I passed.

One bowl of yummy leek and potato soup later and I ambled back to the computer. Then it hit me, I wonder if I’ve broken any rules? Maybe the file size was too large? Badly cropped? Too much noise? I had been laughing rather loudly to this week’s Just a Minute while uploading the files.

I headed over to the Upload Rules section.

Remove copyrighted content

SXC does not allow photos that contain logos and trademarks (apart from a few images where it can’t be avoided). Before uploading please edit these out from your photos.

Oh dear. Every packet bears a brand name. Even the eggs are stamped. So they’ve not been rejected for poor quality, it’s all those trademarks and logos. Innit?

Anyway, I’ve not posted anything to Zooomr for a while and must confess I was thinking about moving them over to Flickr but I’ve just discovered that Zoomr shows referrals for each picture – I now know that this picture is the 4th result at Google for puddle chucker and has been viewed 91 times. Beams with pride.

On the other hand… Zooomr login is via the godawful OpenID thingumyjig which defeats my feeble brain.

Decisions, decisions…

[Later that same day... this post has been edited to change Zoomr to Zooomr (3 'o's rather than 2).]

So here are the banners from Murph and Oz:

I’m not sure I like the implication of this one…
But I love this one
Is that cute or what?

I’m so sorry guys!

Second place goes to Jan Zabroda for this wonderful picture of the Magic Forest banner (created for last year’s festivities).

Third place to Lionel for the Mince Pies entry.

Here’s the completed poll and here’s a reminder of the banners.

Thank you everyone!

Is it too soon to have another competition? Oh, I don’t think so…!

Go forth and vote!

p.s. If you’d like any of the banners customized for your site, let me know. I think my PhotoShop skills will stretch to resizing and text editing…

There has been some muttering that the cd prize might contain (*sharp intake of breath*) tracks by the esteemed Ms Black and Mr Humperdinck.

Ah no. I’ve been studying your festive memes, particularly the favourite Christmas track question, so rest assured will be the epitome of Christmas good taste and cheer…

Meanwhile, a few Christmas links to hopefully get you in the mood for a little banner creation:

• Stock photos for Christmas at Stock Xchng.
• Elf Yourself – with a nifty crop, zoom and rotate toolset you too can add your own picture and create a dancing elf e-card for friends and family.
• From Flickr, Gustav the red-nosed weimareindeer.
• Conspiracy Carols lets you add a “secret” message to a Christmas carol. Hmm.
• The Joy of Baking Christmas collection. Yummy.

Update: I’ve now updated the page with the 11th banner. Stupid, stupid woman.

To save you hitting the refresh button endlessly I’ve put all of the banners on one page with notes on the image source and font used where known.

Where known? Oh yes indeed. Because some of those banners have been contributed by our friendly neighbourhood bloggers and I thought the creative amongst you might also like to have a go at creating one. Or two…

So you have until midnight GMT on Friday, 15 December to chew the ends of numerous pencils and come up with some lovely Christmas/holiday/winter banners. Want to know more? Read on…

The nitty gritty

1. You can either send your image by email to [my name] @ [this domain name dot com] or upload it to a place I can download it from.
2. If you’d like the source .psd file, let me know and I’ll send it to but you could also just send an image (.jpg, .gif, etc.) that’s 846 x 185 pixels and I’ll slot it in a a new layer to the PhotoShop file.
3. The red used for the font and dividing line at the bottom is as always #990000 but feel free to use your own choice of colour(s).

Rules

Um…. I don’t think there are any. Except that the image and font must be free to use (see Resources below).

Prizes

You know that song Money’s to tight to mention? Quite. So the prize will be a lovingly compiled Christmas cd and will be mailed to the winner on Saturday 16th, hopefully reaching you in time for the Christmas festivities.

Resources

You can use your own images or raid the cupboards at free stock photography sites like Stock Xchng, die Blen.de and StockVault.

There are oodles of fonts to choose from at places like Urban Fonts, YouFont, WestWind, FontSo and Better Fonts.

And finally

If you’d like any of the banners modified for use on your site, leave a comment and I’ll whizz it off to you by email.

Good luck!

What the best dressed penis is wearing this season – Durex Dickorations are print, cut out and wear outfits for your best mate. What the internet was invented for.

How about us ladies then? Well… is your Betty ready?

From YouTube: a selection of tv bloopers involving uncontrollable laughter, an innovative letter opening device but best of all this gorgeous wee babby laughing his head off.

A small selection of carefully worded put-downs in When insults had class:

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
- Groucho Marx

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
- Mark Twain

Wonderful photography at Flickr:

• *Sakura*’s photostream includes this beautiful shot of a flower;
• C Ray Dancer‘s wonderful take on Princes Street, Edinburgh;
• Murphy‘s shot of one wet Tibetan scores a whopping 10 on the cute-o-meter and while you’re there don’t miss this beautiful shot, “a solitary tree on the Western side of Ingleberrow catches a shaft of December sunlight”.

Oh and a quick postscript while we’re talking about photography, there are some excellent (downloadable) video tutorials by Kent Conklin at 2 Minute PhotoShop tricks.

I’m just about done in now, back to my nice warm pile of blankets on the sofa. Thank you all so much for your kind wishes, they’re definitely big stepping stones on the road to recovery!

• Martin Waugh‘s beautiful Liquid Sculpture, high speed photos of liquid in motion.
• A delightful picture of a fox leaping.
• Guido Fulgenzi Photographer’s stunning photography.
• Friendship.
• A lovely picture of a dog by Pete Gosselin.
• Accidental Mysteries is John and Teenuh Foster’s collection of “accidental moments on film”. Fascinating stuff.
• Cute as cute can be – Simone the boxer pup.
• And not to forget our feline friends, here’s a lovely set of Russian cat photos.

Meanwhile…

• Footage of an incredible high speed police chase of a cyclist (yes, a cyclist). Must find out more about this story later in the weekend (if you know, do let us know!).
• A stupid, arrogant police officer in Dayton, Ohio (YouTube).
• Not sure if it’s true but this Craigs listing packs a punch.
• Page not found, a great 404 design by the University of Kentucky College of Medicine website.

Must dash, the kitchen floor needs a-mopping…

Set in lovely surroundings with a river to one side and a canal to the other, the Rowbarge Inn can be found at the end of the village of Woolhampton next to the railway station. This beautiful old 18th Century fronted building was often visited by Douglas Bader and owned in the 70′s by actor Larry Naismith when it was frequented by such famous names as Lawrence Olivier and Cary Grant.

We sat in the garden with other dog owners (a beautiful ridgeback and a wire-haired dachshund to name but a few) enjoying the warm September sunshine and watching the narrow barges go by. Blissful.