Yes, another one! From the wonderful Overhead in the Office’s most popular page:

Right Next to the ‘Irony’ Button

Customer, trying to use his debit card: I gotta push “English”? “Spanish” shouldn’t be an option. If they can’t speak no English, they ain’t got no business being here. Where’s the “yes” button at?

Cashier: It’s the button that says “yes” on it.

In a non-football household, Angela Giles Klocke’s 10 year old daughter sums it up.

From the IMDB review of The Hunted:

They also answer that age-old question “who’d win a fight between a middle-aged ex-athlete with a few months of kendo training and a ninja who’s just lost an arm and leg”?

Eldest niece via MSN during a dicussion on dumping the boyfriend of two weeks (he’s already turned from charming to possessive), wants to change the way she speaks and dresses… oh count the alarm bells, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!)

I like me more than him so he’s got to go!

Where the hell did she get to be so wise at 19 years of age?

I went outside and…

Here in blighty the roof has come off the lean-to and I risked life and limb to put some washing out, only to get my hair caught in a shirt button. The shirt was flapping wildly in the wind, took 5 minutes to catch it again and unravel my hair. If only someone had had a video camera handy, could have made submitted it to You’ve Been Framed and won £250 to fix the roof. Deep, dramatic sigh.

New tagline coming up: not safe to let this woman out unaccompanied.

The villas and the chapels where
I learned with little labour
The way to love my fellow-man
And hate my next-door neighbour.

— G.K. Chesterton, online Collected Poems, 1927

From the much missed Open Brackets (especially for e):

Any editor or translator will tell you that the sensation of dread that descends when faced (once again) with having to proof someone else’s work, sick will be lightened immeasurably when the text on the dull topic of telecoms begins like this:

Penetration in the Belgium is one of the deepest and hardest in Europe.

Beginning today, symptoms treat everyone you meet as if he or she were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, patient kindness, more about and understanding you can muster, and do so with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

— Og Mandino [More quotes by Mr Mandino.]

…except that I can’t remember the exact quote and google’s no help. It’s something along the lines of “You can choose your friends but you’re stuck with family”. Anyone know it?

Anyway, If I had to choose family I’d pick exactly the one I have. It’s my youngest brother’s birthday today so here’s a little something from the excellent picture generator, Letter James:

I made the mistake* of reading George Orwell‘s A Clergyman’s Daughter this week (having come across an online pdf version at Bookyards).

So, just ten days after her arrest for begging, Dorothy set out for Ringwood House Academy, Brough Road, Southbridge, with a small trunk decently full of clothes and four pounds ten in her purse— for Sir Thomas had made her a present of ten pounds. When she thought of the ease with which this job had been found for her, and then of the miserable struggles of three weeks ago, the contrast amazed her. It brought home to her, as never before, the mysterious power of money. In fact, it reminded her of a favourite saying of Mr Warburton’s, that if you took 1 Corinthians, chapter thirteen, and in every verse wrote ‘money’ instead of ‘charity’, the chapter had ten times as much meaning as before.

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